Wonder...

I wonder about these people I see everyday at work. Some are friendly an say 'hi' almost everyday. They seem happy enough; but are they? Are they just saying "fuck it" and slapping on a smile, wearing a "mask" of personality? Or are they genuinely trying to be nice or are they just that friendly?

Then there are the ones who stare at the wall or floor when you walk by them, as though they have never seen such a magnificent specimen of wall/floor. They make no effort and for the most part don't care that anyone is around them. I don't feel they are oblivious, they just don't give a rat's ass.

And why do I think about this? No, it's not 'because someone has to', but rather it's almost as though I have no choice; my thoughts have a life of their own. I just try to keep up.

Now, for a character, who would more interesting, complex, disturbing? I say the former as they are consciously hiding who they truly are, hiding part of their character. The floor lookers are true to themselves; they don't want to talk to you and they don't fake it.

I suck

It has been too long. I am beginning to think I am just not cut out to be a writer. I have been so busy with programming I just haven't had the time.

However, I wonder if not writing is part of my frustration level. Not journaling, writing. I think my person a day idea is too limiting; I can't seem to just write 500 words and be satisfied or feel as though I actually did something.

Maybe I just need to back off the programming a little.

Money isn't everything.

Then again, it's not as though there is anyone reading this...